I watched myself self-destruct on camera. It was disgusting.

I watched myself self-destruct on camera. It was disgusting.

I sat there watching the recording of my conversation with Dan from that morning, and I wanted to throw my laptop across the room.

Not because of what I said—but who I saw.

I recorded, and watched, the meeting for a completely different reason; I was trying to find some fun or insightful moments I could use for content. 

I got what I bargained for, I guess:

I watched myself argue. Make excuses. Downplay what I know I’m capable of.

I watched Dan sit there, patient as hell, trying to get through to me.

And then, for half a second, I saw it.

Disappointment.

Not in a loud, dramatic way. But in the way a coach looks at a fighter who’s pulling his punches. Like he knew I wasn’t giving it everything. That I was playing small.

That hit me harder than anything he actually said.

Because it wasn’t him I was letting down.

It was me.

This wasn’t the first time I’ve felt this shift in myself. It’s been creeping in. And I kept brushing it off—telling myself I was just adjusting, just thinking things through, just being “realistic.”

Bullshit.

I built a multimillion-dollar business from nothing. I walked into rooms where I didn’t belong and convinced people to bet on me. I spent years going all in without a second thought.

So why the hell am I standing here now, debating my own ability? Why am I treating myself like some untested rookie instead of the guy who’s already proven he can do this?

I don’t have the full answer.

But I do know this:

If you’re not careful, self-doubt is like rust; it doesn’t happen all at once. 

It builds up, quiet and slow, until one day you look up and realize something that was once solid is corroded.

That’s exactly what happened to me. . 

I felt like I had two choices:

1. Let it keep eating away at me.

2. Sandblast that shit off and get back to work.

I’m choosing #2.

So if you’ve ever caught yourself making excuses for why you can’t do something you know damn well you can…

Check yourself.

Because nobody is coming to save you. Nobody is going to believe in you more than you do. And if you don’t get your own head right, you’re never going to make it.

I may have overstated that last part, my wife actually does believe in me more than I do at times, thankfully. 

Now, if you’ll excuse me… I have some rust to scrape off.